Self-Help Books That Don’t Feel Like Self-Help
Writer: Angelica Marin ‘27
Editor: Angelica Marin
Do you ever crave a book that will give you insight into yourself without beating you up about it? I stayed away from the self-help genre for a long time, purely out of a lack of interest in the style. Yet, I have discovered several books that, while not all technically self-help, provide similar benefits. Traditional self-help books tend to be rather abrasive, but here are three books that enrich their readers' lives and minds without condescension.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb
While the title of this book might make you a bit nervous to read it in public, the story's content is not nearly as imposing. This memoir follows Lori, a therapist, on her therapy journey while simultaneously dealing with her career's most demanding clients. In the wake of an unexpected breakup, Lori goes back to therapy, which leads her to reflect on her journey to become a therapist and where it has brought her now. She tells the story of two clients whose experiences changed Lori’s perspective on her practice forever. This book focuses on being in tune with your identity and emotions, and how this enriches our relationships with others and ourselves. Self-awareness is explored with nuance, in a way that encourages readers to be more self-aware without screaming it in their faces or bullying them into it. Lori takes a gentle philosophy towards life, one that coaxes readers into looking deeper into themselves to better understand more about the lives they live. Lori uses her clients’ and her own experiences to explore the nature of what it means to be human and how we can look to therapy to learn more about the world.
The Course of Love by Alain de Botton
This is probably my favorite book of all time. I’ve read it several times in my life, both before and after experiencing romantic love. This novel follows a fictional couple, Rabih and Kirsten, through their relationship, interrupting relatable scenes, such as kitchen arguments, deep conversations, and the exhaustive reality of parenthood, with snippets of psychosocial commentary. De Botton does an incredible job of analyzing romance's universal struggles, explaining and resolving each as he goes on. He takes several pages each time to discuss and elaborate on each difficult element of being a human in a relationship. Whether about the psychology of marriage or merely the unfairness of life, De Botton encapsulates all that it is to be a person in a short 240 pages. This book is part fiction, part philosophy, and part self-help. I recommend this book to anyone who has, is, or wants to be in a romantic relationship. Each time I read it, without fail, I learn something new.
Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton
Dolly Alderton’s exploration of her 20s in London is by far the literary world’s most inspirational and relatable memoir. I read it in London last summer, freshly single and struggling to remember what it’s like to enjoy independence. Thankfully, by dissecting the misgivings and successes of her early adult life, Dolly Alderton’s memoir made me feel seen and understood before gently knocking some sense into me. From (literal) recipes of bad dates, tales of wild university nights, and pivotal moments in her writing career, this book encourages young people to do just that: be young. Our generation is constantly rushing the process of growing up, whether socially, romantically, academically, or professionally. It’s easy to forget that I’m only 20 years old, not already 20. After experiencing heartbreak for the first time, I was quick to catastrophize, failing to realize that this was only the first of many milestones I would experience in my lifetime. This was not even close to the end. Breakups are awful, but they are universal. Almost everyone you know will be heartbroken or break someone’s heart. The same goes for getting bad grades, embarrassing yourself in front of a superior, flopping interviews, and many other theoretically terrible moments in life. This is the perfect book for college students, especially BU students, who often need a reminder that failure is not permanent but a momentary, inevitable part of life that will forever be filled with lessons.
Whether you’re a seasoned reader or just getting back into it, these books are speedy, engaging, and actually teach you something worth remembering, so give them a shot!