Finding Common Ground: Coffee as a Love Language

Written By: Sydney Rubinstein ‘27

Edited By: Angelica Marin ‘27

To me, coffee is more than a dark, bitter drink. It is a love language. In my opinion, the best way to spend time with someone is by having a conversation while engaging in a common activity. Something like hanging out and building a puzzle, taking a drive while listening to music, or my personal favorite, chatting over a cup of coffee. It’s a way to be truly present and engaged with someone, while still satisfying that caffeine craving. Whether it’s decaf or with an extra shot, coffee is a common ground that brings people together 

Coffee has had a place in my life for as long as I can remember. Every weekend morning, I would walk down the stairs and be greeted by the sight of my family, the sounds of Beethoven and Chopin, and the smells of a freshly brewed french press. On these mornings, everyone was calmer. It was slow and peaceful, and still remains as a Rubinstein routine. To my parents, having a cup of coffee is a mark of the day officially beginning. It's the little push they need to give them the power to prepare for  and spend the rest of the day as they please. As soon as I was old enough to drink coffee, it has played this exact same role in my life. 

I’ve always been someone who has a hard time with change and sticking to routines. I tend to get bored of doing the same thing, but feel overwhelmed when my “normal” gets altered. I love coffee because it not only wakes up my body in the morning, but the ritual behind my morning coffee taught me that routine doesn’t have to be mundane, and sometimes consistency is interesting enough. It made forming and sticking to a routine easier because, no matter where I am or how I'm feeling, I know that someone or somewhere will have coffee, and I'll enjoy it when I have it. On rough days when laying in bed feels like the only thing I'm capable of, I remind myself that there is coffee waiting for me somewhere, all I have to do is get out of bed and find it. Once I reach it, I know it’ll satisfy both my caffeine craving and my restless mind, and that one little snippet of peace can be just what I need to get me through the day. . 

No matter where I am, I make it a goal to find a good coffee shop and become a regular. I like to attribute this to Tala Coffee Roasters, the independent  coffee shop that I have worked at since my sophomore year of high school. Before I was an employee, I was  a regular. Nothing describes the feeling of walking into a cafe or deli, having the employee know who you are, asking if you want “the usual.” Tala became one of my third spaces, not only because of the copious amounts of hanging plants and floor to ceiling windows, but because of the kind employees that made me feel welcomed. They asked me questions,took time to get to know me and my life, and made me feel like my opinions and tastes mattered. When I started working there, I got to experience the joy of getting regulars of my own. Even though I'd be working, I would still be able to have meaningful conversations with customers. Although I may be pouring latte art, I could still listen to Nick and Sue talk about their new granddaughter and how she only likes to wear pink. Although I was the one taking the orders and knowing the “usuals,” I still felt like a regular. My customers walk in and know who I am, know that I want to hear about their day and listen to their stories. Tala gave me a sense of community both in front of and behind the bar, and made me realize how easy it can be to brighten someone's day. My bosses and coworkers have seen me through so many stages of my life, and accepted me through all of them. When I come in having a bad day, they make me a coffee that they know would lift me up, and when I come in having a great day, they make me a coffee to celebrate it. They taught me the language of coffee, and the love that it can spread into people’s lives. 

Now, I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a coffee snob (I blame my parents). Like wine or cheese, coffee from different regions and methods of processing taste different. Just like how people smell and swirl a glass of wine, they do the same for coffee. Something I love is trying to decipher the different notes in a shot of espresso, or whether it was washed or naturally processed by how acidic it tastes. Drinking coffee can be like a guessing game; a way to test your palate while also enjoying a midday pick-me-up. Whenever I try a new coffee shop, I always get a shot of espresso along with one of their specialty drinks because it allows me to understand what a coffee shop's “signature flavors” are, and how they use them to be creative. A good espresso or specialty drink always sticks out in my memory, and it becomes an exciting experience comparing and contrasting drinks from different shops. Regardless of whether I like the coffee or not, I know that I’ll enjoy sitting down and thinking about the space I'm in, and the people around me. Coffee makes me present and reflective. It makes me romanticize my day and feel content with my time. 

I wouldn't be a true self proclaimed “coffee snob” if I didn't have some good recommendations, and luckily, I have no shortage of those. Around Boston, my favorite small business specialty shops lie outside of Boston University. George Howell Coffee, located right near Park St. station, has some really great specialty lattes and single origin espresso. With its perfect location right next to the Commons, I usually grab my coffee to go and drink it while walking through the park. Between Berklee and Northeastern’s campus is Farmer’s Horse, which feels like you’re sitting inside a small mountainside cabin. This is literally the definition of a cozy coffee shop with outdoor seating (and fantastic aux) that opens in the warmer months. Finally, I also love Pepita Coffee in Cambridge because of their fantastic staff and delicious lavender latte. 

Next time you sit down with your morning cup of coffee, take some extra time to really savor it. Acknowledge why you like it (or why you don’t), and appreciate the role it plays in your life. Think about who you would want to be sitting down and talking to, and make that plan to catch up over coffee. Coffee is a love language that encapsulates human connection, relaxation, and giving. It is a common ground to settle over and enjoy, and I can't help but love it.